It was a usual Friday morning. Got up at about 7:30am. Mummy had to goto Hoshiarpur to meet Naani who had come there to attend some ceremony. So Papa were supposed to drop her at ISBT. The bus was scheduled to depart at around 8:30.
We dropped the idea to go by car fearing delay in traffic jam, so both were ready to use our all time favorite scooter for the journey. They went at 7:50 and I, like always started waiting for Papa to arrive. Called at 8:20 to know that bus was on time and he was returning home. As he arrived, got fresh, we had our breakfast. Mummy had prepared the dal wala parantha- which nobody liked much. He got ready quickly while I was doing the utensils.
We both were planning to goto our new project site location-our new home (flat) undergoing wooden work. The carpenter-our dear Shah Nawaz Khan had called in for the cabinet handles in the drawing room which was almost the last task left (almost because constructing a house or a website is basically a never ending process). We decided to dismantle a very old wooden almira and use its phattas in the new bedrooms. I started with it.
As it was quite time consuming, Papa thought of delivering the handles in the mean time. Earlier our plan was to take those phattas together with us by car. But as usual, Papa were to quick to be stopped. 'Main aa gaya hune, fer kad de haan gaddi' was the reply. I kept on convincing 'O yaar khadlo, chal padte hain abhi'. But kithe ji? I was just able to hand my phone to him as he gave his own to Mummy in the morning. It was around 11:15am.
I completed the work, cleaned everything, piled up the phattas outside in the verandah by 12:30 and started waiting for him to arrive. I was watching TV when a person started banging the door of our next door neighbor at 1:20. I was annoyed a bit thinking some children might be playing. I went out to find a gas cylinder wala Khan saying-'Scooter wala gir gaya upar, jaldi chal'.
I gathered my senses in a while, took care keys immediately, wore my jeans, picked up cash lying on the TV kept for carpenter, bolted the door and ran.
Just outside Dr.Suman Trehan's clinic, he was lying down, the scooter being about 8 feet away. There was a lot of blood. My heart was trembling when I saw some blood oozing out of his left ear. He was confused when I saw him. Papa felt a sigh of relief seeing me. I made him sit on a near staircase. He wished to come home but I convinced to visit the hospital first. He handed over phone and cash in his shirt pocket to me.
I ran to bring the car parked at Strawberry Hills while two Khans were supporting him as he himself walked upto Boundary estate. As I brought the car, I saw an ambulance already there which was called for some other patient. As they knew us well, offered to take the ambulance as they'll call another one for themselves. I just threw car keys at Medicos shop and took the ambulance to IGMC.
Called my Chacha, then a Block Medical Officer who was luckily at HIPA for some training. We reached IGMC at 1:35. Papa were walking all through. Doctor was our neighbor so not many hassles. Got 3 stitches on forehead in the minor OT. I made him sip some water. Chacha too arrived, had some normal conversation. ENT people were predicting some damage to the eardrum as a reason for blood in the ear.
Doctors were finding him ok to take home but Chacha insisted on getting a CT done. Only at that time were Papa put on a trolley. CT was done, Papa were even worried whether I had picked up the shoes or not as it was a pair he had bought just a week back for me which he was wearing that day. Then we got to the Neurology department on a higher floor while Chacha was still discussing the CT inside. The lift was not working. The was no senior doctor present. The HoD was busy in PMT counseling.
An intern was there who was more interested in filling up useless case history form instead of undertaking immediate treatment as by that time Papa's breath was getting heavy. Chacha wasn't there and I was crying on phone for him to reach there ASAP. I was making Papa divert attention by my usual style 'Shah Niwaz mila tha Papa?' And he said 'Sab khatam ho gaya'.
I kept saying 'Nahi Papa sab theek ho jaana, kuch ni hua'. He hugged me as tightly as he could. Chacha arrived with a doctor, we took him inside the ward. The corner bed number 37 was assigned to him. He was given oxygen. We were holding each other tightly. Was trying to speak but not much was understandable. They were getting the OT ready. Doctors had located a 2ml blood clot near the brain. I guess he was undergoing an anaphylactic shock. It was horrifying.
I bought some medicines but could not stay in the room. His hair were cut and was being taken to the OT. I just sat blank on the floor outside. It was at that time Chacha asked 'Bhabhi nu dasta?' And I just handed over the mobile to him. Mummy was just outside the house where she was supposed to reach. She just took the same rickshaw back to the bus stand as it was time for the last bus to Hoshiarpur from that village.
I also received a phone call from Moudgil uncle. He was expecting Papa to pick up the phone as they were supposed to meet in the afternoon. He too arrived in a while. By 3:50 Papa was inside the OT. I heard Pappu Chacha call Babbu Chacha in Delhi that Kuku has had a fatal fall. The word fatal was hard to hear.
By 8pm a doctor came out of the OT with a tray full of blood. It was 750ml that they had drained from the brain. I just asked - 'Theek to hain na?' And his reply was 'Aise case difficult hote hain. Blood has been drained on time, rest wait and watch.' They shifted him soon to the ICU. Thanks to the VVIP treatment and a ventilator being offered to us which is often easily denied to many.
By around 10:30pm Mummy had reached alongwith Chachi & Aman who joined her at Chandigarh. My brother also reached from Rohru. And we were just left hugging each other.
A sigh of relief that not much delay was caused. The next wait started for the effect of anesthesia to get over.
July 14:
Papa were still not fully conscious. We thought it to be effect of anesthesia. By afternoon, doctors were quite satisfied. Motor response was there. Though the ventilator was on, the dosage Norad and Dopamine was low, even the oxygen supply was under 40%. Continuous blood tests went on but still not conscious.
July 15:
Friends at PGI were consulted by Chacha telephonically. They too were satisfied with treatment at IGMC and said no need to shift till in ICU.
July 16:
Doctors from cardiology department attended in the morning to rule any heart related problem. A new term called Edema was brought to light. The blood collected had caused swelling inside the brain which was not letting brain to awake properly. So the next wait started to let the Edema subside. By afternoon, we carried Papa outside the ICU on our own risk for a CT scan to rule out any further internal bleeding which was OK. All through this, he was breathing on his own.
July 17:
The dosage of Norad and Dopamine was still on to maintain the blood pressure but still no consciousness. We were getting anxious. PGI people informed that one of their best MS in Neurosurgery has joined IGMC just a day back. We quickly got hold of him through phone and somehow managed to bring him from Junga by evening. After all his patient checkup, he was convinced about Edema and made slight changes in the medication. Though a fear was highlighted that the edema should not obstruct the spinal cord near the neck. Edema should have subsided according to him by 3-4 days. We had no option but to wait and watch. By evening, the nurse called 'Bed No.6- please get some hand towels and water to sponge the patient'. We just ran to bring all things hoping to see him opening eyes which were just partially open. He responded when Mummy touched his hand by folding his palm a bit. Body motor response was OK in medical terms which were good signs of improvement.
July 18:
Another similar CT scan in the early morning followed by an Ultrasound to rule out any other internal injury but was OK. The sight of him in OT dress for ultrasound while me holding the drip was just unbearable. I could not see my father in pain, not responding to my voices. Doctors were doubting some renal trouble. Some blood tests were recommended other that the usual ones which were to be carried out through a private agency. A urine sample was also needed which could be managed only through giving steroids. I know my driving speed all through these journeys. We managed to rush the samples there on time. One time sample was not enough. So the nurse gave another shot of steroid which I don't think was desired. The time was 2:15pm. At about 4:30, team of doctors rushed into the ICU No 6. We all were looking from outside. The scene was terrible. Doctors giving shocks to Papa and he was rising up and down. Everything stopped at that moment. He just had a cardiac arrest. We were in tears, hugging and praying. The BP started fluctuating again, they could revive him.
The sight was frightening. The process continued. The night was hard to pass. We all were outside the ICU. Praying to all the Gods we could remember. I had already surrendered everything - Bhagwan kuch ni chahiye life me kabhi bhi, bas aaj dekhle. But He had no sympathy. At about 12:50am, Aman went to see the vitals. Returned crying to wake up Chacha lying on the rack in the corridor. It also started raining out of nowhere for sometime. That was it.
He had left us about half a hour earlier. Even something called God ceased to exist for me. 2012 actually turned out to be end of the world for us.
I had lost my best friend, philosopher, guide; a sine qua non for my existence !
But tension nhi leni Papa. I am desperate to meet you.
[People used to call me my father's PA. I know sarna ni mere bagair Jada der.]
Some Related Events:
All the bills of the hardware shop were cleared on 12 July in cash.
Matrimonial advertisement for my brother was also submitted to the Tribune office on 12th evening. The ad got published in July 14th edition. But nobody of us has ever seen.
I was with him while clearing the bills for medical shop & our milk vendor just a couple of days back. Didn't realize that I'll be dealing with all such things next time independently.
Got a sum of Rs. 35000 cash from the almirha. The exact pending fee for my M.Tech.
We had attended my cousins marriage at Chandigarh on 8 July. Had the night stay at Ropar. Papa wished & we ate gol gappas at one of the best locations of Chandigarh. This was not usual.
On our way back, we had Chocobars at Jabli. This again was not usual.
We dropped the idea to go by car fearing delay in traffic jam, so both were ready to use our all time favorite scooter for the journey. They went at 7:50 and I, like always started waiting for Papa to arrive. Called at 8:20 to know that bus was on time and he was returning home. As he arrived, got fresh, we had our breakfast. Mummy had prepared the dal wala parantha- which nobody liked much. He got ready quickly while I was doing the utensils.
We both were planning to goto our new project site location-our new home (flat) undergoing wooden work. The carpenter-our dear Shah Nawaz Khan had called in for the cabinet handles in the drawing room which was almost the last task left (almost because constructing a house or a website is basically a never ending process). We decided to dismantle a very old wooden almira and use its phattas in the new bedrooms. I started with it.
As it was quite time consuming, Papa thought of delivering the handles in the mean time. Earlier our plan was to take those phattas together with us by car. But as usual, Papa were to quick to be stopped. 'Main aa gaya hune, fer kad de haan gaddi' was the reply. I kept on convincing 'O yaar khadlo, chal padte hain abhi'. But kithe ji? I was just able to hand my phone to him as he gave his own to Mummy in the morning. It was around 11:15am.
I completed the work, cleaned everything, piled up the phattas outside in the verandah by 12:30 and started waiting for him to arrive. I was watching TV when a person started banging the door of our next door neighbor at 1:20. I was annoyed a bit thinking some children might be playing. I went out to find a gas cylinder wala Khan saying-'Scooter wala gir gaya upar, jaldi chal'.
I gathered my senses in a while, took care keys immediately, wore my jeans, picked up cash lying on the TV kept for carpenter, bolted the door and ran.
Just outside Dr.Suman Trehan's clinic, he was lying down, the scooter being about 8 feet away. There was a lot of blood. My heart was trembling when I saw some blood oozing out of his left ear. He was confused when I saw him. Papa felt a sigh of relief seeing me. I made him sit on a near staircase. He wished to come home but I convinced to visit the hospital first. He handed over phone and cash in his shirt pocket to me.
I ran to bring the car parked at Strawberry Hills while two Khans were supporting him as he himself walked upto Boundary estate. As I brought the car, I saw an ambulance already there which was called for some other patient. As they knew us well, offered to take the ambulance as they'll call another one for themselves. I just threw car keys at Medicos shop and took the ambulance to IGMC.
Called my Chacha, then a Block Medical Officer who was luckily at HIPA for some training. We reached IGMC at 1:35. Papa were walking all through. Doctor was our neighbor so not many hassles. Got 3 stitches on forehead in the minor OT. I made him sip some water. Chacha too arrived, had some normal conversation. ENT people were predicting some damage to the eardrum as a reason for blood in the ear.
Doctors were finding him ok to take home but Chacha insisted on getting a CT done. Only at that time were Papa put on a trolley. CT was done, Papa were even worried whether I had picked up the shoes or not as it was a pair he had bought just a week back for me which he was wearing that day. Then we got to the Neurology department on a higher floor while Chacha was still discussing the CT inside. The lift was not working. The was no senior doctor present. The HoD was busy in PMT counseling.
An intern was there who was more interested in filling up useless case history form instead of undertaking immediate treatment as by that time Papa's breath was getting heavy. Chacha wasn't there and I was crying on phone for him to reach there ASAP. I was making Papa divert attention by my usual style 'Shah Niwaz mila tha Papa?' And he said 'Sab khatam ho gaya'.
I kept saying 'Nahi Papa sab theek ho jaana, kuch ni hua'. He hugged me as tightly as he could. Chacha arrived with a doctor, we took him inside the ward. The corner bed number 37 was assigned to him. He was given oxygen. We were holding each other tightly. Was trying to speak but not much was understandable. They were getting the OT ready. Doctors had located a 2ml blood clot near the brain. I guess he was undergoing an anaphylactic shock. It was horrifying.
I bought some medicines but could not stay in the room. His hair were cut and was being taken to the OT. I just sat blank on the floor outside. It was at that time Chacha asked 'Bhabhi nu dasta?' And I just handed over the mobile to him. Mummy was just outside the house where she was supposed to reach. She just took the same rickshaw back to the bus stand as it was time for the last bus to Hoshiarpur from that village.
I also received a phone call from Moudgil uncle. He was expecting Papa to pick up the phone as they were supposed to meet in the afternoon. He too arrived in a while. By 3:50 Papa was inside the OT. I heard Pappu Chacha call Babbu Chacha in Delhi that Kuku has had a fatal fall. The word fatal was hard to hear.
By 8pm a doctor came out of the OT with a tray full of blood. It was 750ml that they had drained from the brain. I just asked - 'Theek to hain na?' And his reply was 'Aise case difficult hote hain. Blood has been drained on time, rest wait and watch.' They shifted him soon to the ICU. Thanks to the VVIP treatment and a ventilator being offered to us which is often easily denied to many.
By around 10:30pm Mummy had reached alongwith Chachi & Aman who joined her at Chandigarh. My brother also reached from Rohru. And we were just left hugging each other.
A sigh of relief that not much delay was caused. The next wait started for the effect of anesthesia to get over.
July 14:
Papa were still not fully conscious. We thought it to be effect of anesthesia. By afternoon, doctors were quite satisfied. Motor response was there. Though the ventilator was on, the dosage Norad and Dopamine was low, even the oxygen supply was under 40%. Continuous blood tests went on but still not conscious.
July 15:
Friends at PGI were consulted by Chacha telephonically. They too were satisfied with treatment at IGMC and said no need to shift till in ICU.
July 16:
Doctors from cardiology department attended in the morning to rule any heart related problem. A new term called Edema was brought to light. The blood collected had caused swelling inside the brain which was not letting brain to awake properly. So the next wait started to let the Edema subside. By afternoon, we carried Papa outside the ICU on our own risk for a CT scan to rule out any further internal bleeding which was OK. All through this, he was breathing on his own.
July 17:
The dosage of Norad and Dopamine was still on to maintain the blood pressure but still no consciousness. We were getting anxious. PGI people informed that one of their best MS in Neurosurgery has joined IGMC just a day back. We quickly got hold of him through phone and somehow managed to bring him from Junga by evening. After all his patient checkup, he was convinced about Edema and made slight changes in the medication. Though a fear was highlighted that the edema should not obstruct the spinal cord near the neck. Edema should have subsided according to him by 3-4 days. We had no option but to wait and watch. By evening, the nurse called 'Bed No.6- please get some hand towels and water to sponge the patient'. We just ran to bring all things hoping to see him opening eyes which were just partially open. He responded when Mummy touched his hand by folding his palm a bit. Body motor response was OK in medical terms which were good signs of improvement.
July 18:
Another similar CT scan in the early morning followed by an Ultrasound to rule out any other internal injury but was OK. The sight of him in OT dress for ultrasound while me holding the drip was just unbearable. I could not see my father in pain, not responding to my voices. Doctors were doubting some renal trouble. Some blood tests were recommended other that the usual ones which were to be carried out through a private agency. A urine sample was also needed which could be managed only through giving steroids. I know my driving speed all through these journeys. We managed to rush the samples there on time. One time sample was not enough. So the nurse gave another shot of steroid which I don't think was desired. The time was 2:15pm. At about 4:30, team of doctors rushed into the ICU No 6. We all were looking from outside. The scene was terrible. Doctors giving shocks to Papa and he was rising up and down. Everything stopped at that moment. He just had a cardiac arrest. We were in tears, hugging and praying. The BP started fluctuating again, they could revive him.
The sight was frightening. The process continued. The night was hard to pass. We all were outside the ICU. Praying to all the Gods we could remember. I had already surrendered everything - Bhagwan kuch ni chahiye life me kabhi bhi, bas aaj dekhle. But He had no sympathy. At about 12:50am, Aman went to see the vitals. Returned crying to wake up Chacha lying on the rack in the corridor. It also started raining out of nowhere for sometime. That was it.
He had left us about half a hour earlier. Even something called God ceased to exist for me. 2012 actually turned out to be end of the world for us.
I had lost my best friend, philosopher, guide; a sine qua non for my existence !
But tension nhi leni Papa. I am desperate to meet you.
[People used to call me my father's PA. I know sarna ni mere bagair Jada der.]
Some Related Events:
All the bills of the hardware shop were cleared on 12 July in cash.
Matrimonial advertisement for my brother was also submitted to the Tribune office on 12th evening. The ad got published in July 14th edition. But nobody of us has ever seen.
I was with him while clearing the bills for medical shop & our milk vendor just a couple of days back. Didn't realize that I'll be dealing with all such things next time independently.
Got a sum of Rs. 35000 cash from the almirha. The exact pending fee for my M.Tech.
We had attended my cousins marriage at Chandigarh on 8 July. Had the night stay at Ropar. Papa wished & we ate gol gappas at one of the best locations of Chandigarh. This was not usual.
On our way back, we had Chocobars at Jabli. This again was not usual.
I beg her for her own sake,
I beg her for everyones sake
I beg her for the sake of this world,
I beg her for the sake of God,
If somewhere she reads or hears this
Whether she be alive or dying
That she come and meet me once
That she not stain my love.
Else I will not be able to live,
I will not be able to write a song.
A girl whose name is M....
Is lost.
Simple, beautiful,
She is lost.
She's lost for a long time now,
You better return my Dearest !
You're required,
Infact You are the ONLY requirement !!